Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Rookie Dad: It's just a rash


I can't claim to know what it feels like to have your bottom sore to a point where it makes me cry but I do know that The Youngling, if she knew how to talk, could tell everyone she sees about her first ailment.

Monday night, when I arrived home, I was informed that we had ourselves a sore baby. I expected teething or maybe she took a tumble somehow but I honestly wasn't expecting diaper rash. In a world where a certain flu strain seems destined to make us all board up our windows and doors something as simple as diaper rash seems trivial but when a tiny princess has a sore bottom, it's a big deal.


Growing up sans siblings, I was and still am totally oblivious to what to do about most everything considering children. I've seen the tube of diaper rash cream/ointment/plaster in The Youngling's diaper basket but outside of using it to soothe her rashy armpits, I had never seen it in action.

I now know, after two days, that slathering the goo on her bottom is better than applying it lightly. Or so says mom. I won't complain because as I cringed in fear of wiping The Youngling's sore tush super-mom stepped up and did what I was too cowardly/unexperienced/proud to do.

One of these days I'll get back to diaper duty but not until that mess of cream is gone.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Rookie Dad: Her first sleepover


We lasted a solid five months before we sent The Youngling packing. Well, packing for the night. Saturday night was the first time in just over five months that the baby has spent the night away from dad or mom. And the amazing part is that we all survived just fine.

After five months, a break is deserved and after the day leading up to that break it was welcome. With two separate rounds of baby puke before noon on Saturday, dad needed a break.


I found it amazing that a little girl could vomit sometime during the night and sleep through it. She didn't stir and we didn't notice until she woke up around 9 AM (yes, 9 AM). Her tiny pajamas and tiny sheet along with her tiny mattress pad protecting her tiny mattress were damp but warm. 9 AM is the perfect time to begin your laundry if you were wondering.

Then after a morning nap, cereal and a bottle, we decided that the bottle - all five ounces of it - was a bit too much. She expressed those feelings on mom's new (thankfully) white shirt, the couch and the hardwood floor. Hooray, more laundry!

Luckily, grandma had a far drier time as The Youngling had her first sleepover. As for me, it's time to get back into the habit of feeding her cereal. This break is officially over.

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Rookie Dad: She's on a roll

Just days after the triumphant and much-ballyhooed five-month mark The Youngling has rolled over. All reports are saying that this was a totally unassisted roll and being that it happened when dad wasn't around, it actually counts.


Now with that last statement, there is obviously a story to be told and tell it I will.

A couple Fridays ago - the one before Easter - I was home with The Youngling and we were working on our rolling skills (her more than me). I was clapping like a kid having candy thrown at him and becoming quite exhausted when, with just the right combination of kicking and grunting, she rolled over. A classic tummy to back maneuver that would have easily scored nines in Olympic competition and when I told the wife later in the day what had transpired her reaction wasn't what I had expected.

She wasn't sure that it was totally unassisted. I stated that I had helped with a few rolls and turned my head for a few seconds because Anthony Bourdain was interviewing some of the L.A. rollergirls and out of the corner of my eye I saw "the roll". Eventually we chalked it up to a fluke but did plant a sticker on that day's calendar space for the triumphant roll but maybe two times makes it officially official.

Whatever the case, I saw that first roll and while there's a very good chance that I could miss the first steps, words, graduation and a few other lesser events - nobody can deny that first roll because stickers last forever.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Rookie Dad: All about the aim


After five months, I am still working on my aim. No, this isn't about the mythical basketball hoop in my driveway. This is all about a little girl who "spits up" at random times.

Yesterday, while talking to a couple visitors, The Youngling managed to spit up no less than three times. Two of those times ended up on my fancy t-shirt.

This morning was no different. After getting her dressed for the day in clothes perfectly fit for the relatively cool and dreary day, she decided that is was prime time for puke time.

Amazingly her aim while lying on her changing pad is impeccable. Not a drop on the pad but the entire collar of her spiffly little shirt was drenched in warm milk. This led to mom dressing The Youngling for the second time.

Then came those fateful few moments before mom shoved off for work. She can actually sense baby puke making its way towards to exit and quickly aimed pukesy outwards as she produced four tiny but warm pools of milk on the laundry room floor. At least it allowed me to further hone my janitorial skills.

If my boss is reading this, that's why I arrived at work a few minutes later than usual.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Rookie Dad: For the love of cereal


Cereal is apparently the first step in solid foods for infants. Hey, everything is news to me but I've got a pretty firm handle on this "solid" food stuff. After all, I managed to buy the cereal not once but twice already.

It's been just over two weeks since The Youngling had her first meeting with cereal. That first time went surprisingly well and if that box of questionable looking Gerber Rice Cereal is an acquired taste, the baby has met her new favorite food.

Last night, as I quickly threw some chicken on the grill, I lingered for a minute or two outside and as I came back through the kitchen and past the dining room I was informed that The Youngling had eaten all of her cereal. Now I can't definitively tell you the quantity of cereal she currently eats I can say that it's between a couple ounces and a couple pounds and the fact that this sutbborn girl who won't eat cereal if dad is feeding her powered down this gruel in about two minutes time is nothing short of impressive. Even more impressive was the fact that she wasn't wearing the cereal. Previous times she'd had cereal from just below her eyes stretching to just above her waist. The prissy princess herself had managed to stay mostly clean and wasn't screaming. Score one for mom as dad was once again reminded that during some parts of raising a child, he's best left to cooking.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Rookie Dad: She's so done with Easter


Yesterday was the first Easter for the youngling. It may have been the first official Easter for her on the record books but I'm rather certain that she didn't grasp the whole concept of the day's festivities. She actually slept through a good portion of the afternoon which is probably good. Even when she gets older how is she going to entirely understand a day whose secular meaning boils down to ham and chocolate?

And how can I be expected to explain a giant bunny who leaves behind eggs? I'm no wildlife expert but I do know that bunnies don't lay eggs and chickens are just beginning to make their way into the Easter holiday.

At least the youngling had fun during the few hours she spent awake. By the end of the day her stark white sweater had red Jello-stains courtesy of her older cousins. Hey, at least I learned a lesson, children and white clothes do not mix.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Rookie Dad: It's mango-riffic


I'm stunned by the choices available in baby food. I made this discovery as I stood, my mouth very much open, in an aisle at the local Target store. Being a tight-wad, I compared prices between the two-packs of Gerber goodies in plastic tub two-pack form and single glass jars (which I am saving for a project). Numbers running through my head, I settled on the slightly cheaper plastic tubs and then stood befuddled struggling to choose what flavors to buy. I am not exactly a infant taste-ologist. I don't know what flavors are hot and trendy for the summer. This is meat and potatoes country but I didn't see a pot roast flavor so I bent over and began re-examining the flavor selection.

I know that The Youngling totally digs both carrots and sweet potatoes so those went in my basket. But those are vegetables and everyone knows that little baby girls also need fruit. I scratched my head as I tried to remember what fruits she had already been accustomed to by using the four meals rule. Pears were golden to her but I didn't see those in the stage two tubs.

Then, like a star guiding me to the holy land, I saw it. Mangoes. Mangoes! Babies apparently have rather advanced taste buds. I'm fairly certain that 30 years ago I wasn't sitting in a high chair eating and covering myself in pureed mangoes. The Youngling is a lucky little girl to have such a vast array of flavor at her stubby little fingertips and she better watch out because I'm always looking to jazz up my lunch selection and those tubs of mangoes are definitely tempting.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Rookie Dad: She's eyeing my food


The youngling is inching closer to the five month mark. She is still as toothless as my grandma was and has a bit less hair than my dad but she's quickly honing her tastebuds - both present and future.

While she's a bit over a week into the adventure known as rice cereal, she's already looking into the future. Already she has grabbed mom's bowl of ice cream and tugged it close to gum the decade old stoneware dish and last night she was contemplating whether or not her future included pizza.

As she stared at the large slices while we ate, I think she made up her mind that, yes, the future does include pizza. It may be quite some time before she earns her Italian food chops because I'm not big on sharing and I'm fairly certain that teeth are a prerequisite for pizza.