Rookie Dad: A conversation about chickens

"Daddy, don't forget to leave my booster seat with Grandma today. I'm going shopping with Grandma and Grandpa."

"Oh, what are you three buying?"

"Grandpa's buying chicks. They go 'cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep'."

"Cool. What's he gonna do with those chicks?"

"Feed 'em. They'll eat out of my hand. They're so cute!"

"What else happens to the little chicks?"

"When they grow up, Grandpa kills them!"

"He does?"

"Yeah, then we eat them."

At this point, The Youngling licked her lips and smacked them, professing her love for tasty chicken as only she can do.

"Daddy, can we have chicks in the back yard?"

"No, we don't have enough room."

"If we did, Daddy, I could kill them with my toy gun if I had a toy gun. Boom! Boom!"

"That's not how it's -- never mind. Put your shirt on."

Rookie Dad: The Computer Whiz

At the ripe old age of four years old, The Youngling is light years ahead of her old dad when he was the same age -- especially when it comes to technology.
She now knows how to seek out Care Bears episodes on YouTube via my iPod Touch. I am not quite sure when she learned how to search for those videos via the tiny touch-screen keyboard but when supper was done last night, she quickly got up from her chair and grabbed dad's iPod.

But it doesn't end there. She also apparently has an affinity for kitten videos. It was strange to see a four year old making her way (either accidentally or purposefully) through the depths of YouTube and watching kittens, bunnies and other assorted animals being downright cute.

To share the awesome that she found, I've posted some of the videos below so you can revel in her interesting video tastes.

Rookie Dad: March puddle jumping

Some days with a four year-old are a battle. Some days are frustrating. But there never fails to be a dull moment.

Not long after rolling out of bed on Sunday, The Youngling insisted on heading outside to splash in the puddles. Much like an elephant, she never forgets things like how we bought her a pair of rain boots after much insistence on her part in late January.

So, around 11 AM (or 10 AM, I'm not sure as I only set some of the clocks ahead), with a stiff wind blowing from the north, we made our way down the block. She diligently stopped at every puddle she encountered -- even if it was completely glazed over with ice -- and splashed in it. Remember that it was a balmy 30 degrees at this time and while we were both dressed for the weather, I felt cold for her as her thin legs bounced up and down in those partially frozen puddles.

After two blocks we were both cold but at least she was happy.

Rookie Dad: That Bites

Before I left the office the other day I received a phone call from the wife. The Youngling had been sent home with a note from her preschool teacher. That's never good.

It seems that she landed herself in whatever disciplinary area the teacher uses because she got a bit zealous after being appointed line lead for the day.  In The Youngling's head on that specific day she thought that meant that she had been appointed queen of the classroom and when one of her friends tried grabbing a toy during play time, The Youngling bared her teeth and bit her friend.

In what world is it okay in a child's mind to bite someone? I know that kids go through phases like picking their nose or pooping in the closet but what triggers the though in a child's mind to say, "Hey, that toy is mine, I'm gonna bite my friend"?

As kids get older they push and punch and scratch -- maybe even pull hair sometimes but I don't recall anyone ever biting me. Maybe I should get The Youngling in to see a doctor and see if she is actually part vampire. She does seem to prefer nights to mornings.

Anyhow, I hope that the biting was just a one-time occurance because biting your friends usually has a way of coming back to bite you, so to speak.

Rookie Dad: She's a tiny Hulk

My daughter is one who likes to show off her own strength. She is convinced that she can see her muscles growing -- good for her. It's funny too, because she is actually looking at the veins in her wrists -- convinced that those are her muscles so when she expressed her interest in showing me just how strong she was last night while I prepared supper, I sort of brushed it off.

As she came up behind me, I thought that she would simply grab my leg or something similar to that and attempt to pick me up to show her likeness to Hulk. Imagine my surprise when she barreled up behind me, quickly cupped her hands squarely in my crotch and proceeded to lift upwards very quickly.

To say that I was surprised would be an understatement. I actually jumped. Of course The Youngling assumed that she had actually lifted me up off the ground. She won this one.

Rookie Dad: The Day She Was Unfriended

Life is all about change. Without change I know that I would get bored and the same goes for kids. A few weeks ago after I returned home from work I asked my daughter how school had gone for her on the particular day. Her response was that some boy's name that I can't remember didn't want to be her friend any more.

This was shocking to me because I had never before that day heard her mention a boy's name from her preschool class. She routinely mentions two of the three other girls in her class but never a boy's name. It caught me off guard, though, when she mentioned this abruptly ended friendship which I was clueless about. I had no idea what to say and because it didn't seem to phase her in the least I just moved on.

I forgot about it until later that evening. Why would anyone say that they didn't want to be friends with The Youngling? She is probably the most outgoing and friendly kid this side of the Rocky Mountains. While I'm not the type to meddle in my kid's friendships I have to wonder what makes a kid, in all of their randomness, abruptly decide that they no longer want to be friends with another kid?

Rookie Dad: Preschool already?!?

Alright, so the title is a bit misleading because The Youngling hasn't actually began preschool yet but at 3 years and 5 months old she did head out to preschool screening Friday morning and to say that she did well would be the perfect thing to say because she did do quite well. We're convinced now that when she's at home with us as we're trying to work on her counting skills that she's just messing with us.

At home she always skips numbers and gets them out of order but during the preschool screening tests she nailed it - rattling off 1-10 like she had been reciting those numbers for years now.

The biggest problem is that we're not ready for her to start preschool yet. Even if she began in September at the start of the new school year she would be attending preschool for a full two years. Knowing her, I think that she'd grow bored with the slow progress because today at a certain big box retailer she got on a bike and rode it around portions the store as we urged her to stop and follow us instead. At home she rarely, if ever, rides her bike and when she does she often tips over or goes out of control across the street not knowing how to stop.

But back to the preschool thing, she did basically con us into buying her a Curious George lunch box so maybe she is trying to tell us something.