Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Rookie Dad: I've never seen so much snot


It's not like The Youngling has never been sick. No, indeed. This is the second time that the little destroyer has found herself with a cold and this one is a big one. I think I counted a dozen sneezes in a three hour period this weekend. All but one resulted in gobs of snot pouring out of her tiny nose. To make matters worse, she has developed a disdain for her old man after I've had to wipe her nose just shy of a hundred times in recent days.

Each time I hear a sneeze, and I hear then from two or three rooms away sometimes, I reluctantly grab a tissue and plod through the house careful to look under tables where she may be hiding. She knows what happened and she wants it gone. That's obvious by her wiping her nose on her hand, her sleeve, the couch, my sweatshirt, my coat, mom's face or the rug. But when she sees that white tissue careening towards her it's like Kryptonite. The Youngling wiggles and scoots away and begins screaming. Hey, I don't like doing this any more than she likes having it done but the snot isn't going away on its own so it needs to happen.

I don't beat around the bush when on snot patrol. With one hand on the back of her head, I pinch my fingers together on the outside of the tissue and hope that I've made some progress and she shakes her head and tries to wriggle out from under my not-so-gentle wiping. I've come to grips that this is the first of many year of my daughter hating me. Until she needs some of my non-existent money, then I'll be the bestest dad in the whole entire world. But I'm not holding my breath on that one.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Rookie Dad: The box is more exciting than the gift


By a child's second Christmas, that particular child should be able to open his or her Christmas presents without assistance. I have that sort of high expectations - even though The Youngling is a mere 13 months old. She is already getting in to everything in the house and seems almost passionate about destroying things - particularly photo album pages - so why shouldn't she be eager to tear through some colorful wrapping paper and find a box waiting inside that's far more entertaining that the toy it holds?
Maybe my expectations about The Youngling's dexterity and eagerness to shred paper are lofty but that little girl is ahead of the curve - even if she isn't walking unassisted yet and is stuck at having only five teeth.

But we've planned ahead for her love of everything but toys as presents. I'm fairly certain that everything under the tree is a box full of random bits destined for the recycling bin: soda bottles, empty soup cans and a couple of graham cracker boxes. We've even (well I have) planned ahead for her lack of ambition when it comes to tearing off wrapping paper - I've pre-tore most of the paper on her gifts so she can easily get to those boxes and bits of recycling material. I'm all about boosting that little lady's ego.