Rookie Dad: Toddler vs. Charlie Sheen

It dawned on me recently that toddlers often string words together and form memorable quotes. Then I began thinking whether or not The Youngling's toddler-talk quotes made more sense than those uttered by Charlie Sheen in the past week. Let's compare...

Charlie Sheen: “Duh. Winning”

The Youngling: "Daddy booger nose."

(To me this one makes sense because I've had a cold for the past two or eight weeks, she sees me blowing my nose about 30 times a day. Unless Sheen is in some sort of competition, winning is a moot point.)

Charlie Sheen: “I’m a rock star from Mars”

The Youngling: "Mommy crazy time."

(This quote makes more sense to me too because Mommy's life is hectic and I thing that my daughter understands this -- as for Sheen being a rock star from Mars, come on, there's no oxygen on Mars. Next.)

Charlie Sheen: “I’m a Vatican assassin warlock!”

The Youngling: "Chocomilk fall over."

(Again my daughter wins this matchup. "Chocomilk fall over" is a coherent thought -- her chocolate milk obviously fell over. As for Sheen, he's just putting random words together and hoping that some of them form a coherent thought.)

In the end, my daughter wins this matchup 3-0. Her words are meaningful and form coherent sentences which most everyone would understand. But Charlie Sheen's final memorable quote sort of sums up why he lost a battle of words to a two year-old -- “I don’t know. All these words just sound cool together. They come from my grand wizard master”

Tow lessons to take away form this: never trust words given to you by your grand wizard master and never doubt that a two year-old can outsmart a drugged-up, borderline bi-polar Hollywood actor who says “Let’s hook up and just bring fiery death.”